He turned 5 this past summer. How did I miss it? Of course, he was doted on, it was celebrated, there was a party with friends, and gifts, and cake, but yet, I still missed it. I was there. I was fully present for my son.
What I am referring to is how I missed the significance of this milestone….of this particular age. You see, as an adoption social worker, it is well known that children 5 and older are significantly less likely to be adopted than their younger counterparts. Especially boys. While I have often internally compared my babies to the babies from China that I work hard to find families for, they were still just that…..babies. But the fact is, babies find homes. Babies get families. Babies are chosen and wanted.
Kids, not as much.
So, here I sit, once again, thinking of my Murphy, as if he were one of those waiting in a Chinese orphanage. I used to picture him in a crib. But, now that I realize the significance of his age, he would have been better off in a crib. In a crib, he would have had a better chance of being chosen. Now, now that he is over 5, with a ‘defective’ heart that may need prolonged medical treatment, he would wait. Possibly forever. With no family to step forward for him.
I think of Murphy. I think of Murphy, and I find solace in knowing that he is not living in those shoes.
But that doesn’t erase the thoughts. The thoughts of a 5-year-old boy, with a ‘bad’ heart, living in an orphanage, waiting. Makes me immediately think of Austin (RainbowKids ID# 30699). Austin. Has a heart condition. Murphy. Has a heart condition. Austin. Has a ready smile. Murphy. Has a ready smile. Austin. Extroverted. Murphy. Extroverted. Austin. Loves cartoons. Murphy. Loves cartoons. 2 boys. 2 boys with so many similarities. 2 boys born into completely different circumstances. But 2 boys nonetheless.
Austin is my Murphy in another body. He is not a diagnosis. He is not an age. Austin is an amazing, joyful, hyper, sweet, snotty, sassy, shy, loving, naughty, obedient, sometimes disobedient, feisty, sensitive, active, creative, little boy, whose odds of being ‘chosen’ went down immensely when he turned 5 this past February. Don’t let him be a statistic. Give him the family he so deserves.
Austin is eligible for a $5,000 Bright Futures Grant through Madison Adoption Associates. Please contact Sarah at sarah@madisonadoption.org for more information, or visit us on our website at www.madisonadoption.org.
The Gladney Center for Adoption is a long-established, Hague-accredited adoption agency with more than 135 years of experience in creating bright futures for children and families. Gladney’s international adoption program offers families across the United States the opportunity to adopt children from around the world, with active programs in countries such as Bulgaria, Colombia, the Dominican Republic, Ecuador, India, the Philippines, Taiwan, Thailand, and Vietnam. The agency is deeply committed to ethical and transparent adoption practices that prioritize the best interests of each child. Gladney’s international program focuses on “waiting children”—those who are legally free for adoption but may be older, part of a sibling group, or have identified medical or developmental needs. Families who work with Gladney receive comprehensive support throughout every stage of the process, including pre-adoption education and training, home study and dossier preparation, coordination with foreign partners, travel guidance, and post-adoption services. With a dedicated team of professionals and strong relationships with child welfare authorities abroad, Gladney ensures that each adoption is handled with compassion, integrity, and excellence. Families who partner with Gladney become part of a lifelong community, supported well beyond placement as they help their children thrive in their new homes and embrace their cultural heritage.
