The Only Hope for Us - Changing to China's Special Needs Program

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The Only Hope for Us

Changing to China's Special Needs Program

April 01,2011 / Amy Brady

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"If we had not moved to the special needs program, we wouldn't have our precious daughter, Hope." This truth keeps ringing in my ears and my heart these days. She is the only one for us. No child could be more perfect for our family.

At the end of 2009, with the non-special needs program in China inching along, I knew that God was moving in our hearts. I knew we needed to at least rule out the special needs program as an option. I thought, "Let's at least research it, look into it and once and for all settle in our minds that special needs is not for us." What I found instead was a myriad of misconceptions. Misconceptions about what is considered a special need in China vs. what is considered special needs here in America. I found that I had misunderstandings about how medical technology and good healthcare can really make the difference in the life of a special needs child.

Hope Most profoundly though, I had failed to really grasp the need. The special needs children are the least of the least in China. If no one steps forward to help them reach healing, both physically and emotionally, they will live a life devoid of purpose and care because of something that could be fixed within a few months here in America. They will have no chance in life and will never know the love of a family. All due to something beyond their control, something most people here wouldn't even consider a “special need”.

Shocked at our lack of education on this subject, I reviewed the medical checklist with my husband and we met with families who had either adopted special needs children or had biological children with a special need. Their lives were much more normal than I thought they would be, once again putting an end to another misconception I had. We met with the doctors who specialized in the special needs we were considering. They educated as to just how many medical options existed for special needs children. We also discovered how we would be able to fix the medical problems she had, once Hope was home.

Two months into the new year, we completed our medical checklist and were standing in yet another line to, you guessed it, wait. That's when something within me changed. I knew that the waiting child program was exactly where God meant for us to be. It wasn't a way to get our child sooner. Special needs children deserve much more of a commitment than that. The waiting child program had become our family's mission. When we entered the adoption process over 2 ½ years before, we thought we were headed toward a perfectly healthy little girl. Now we found ourselves headed for a little girl who was perfect for us.

We logged in with the WCP in February of 2010 and got our long awaited, highly anticipated referral call on July 14, 2010. We were in shock. They had found us a precious two year old girl, with a repaired VSD (hole in the heart) in the Henan province. Our family had prepared to bring a child home for heart surgery and hers had already been done. Every doctor that has looked at her or her medical records have given us a terrific prognosis. Once her cardiologist signs off on the repair, she will live a normal life with no restrictions to her activity level. Hope was also a little older than we had expected. I felt a little sad at all we had missed, but once they placed her in our arms I knew she was exactly the right age for us.

Her referral pictures, though precious, did concern us a bit. She never smiled and there was no light in her eyes. We prayed she was healthy mentally and that God would put the light in her eyes Himself. Within 48 hours of her being in our family, Hope was laughing, smiling and playing. We had prepared our hearts to wait a while before we saw such beautiful smiles and heard such belly-tickling laughter. She literally erupted with joy and life. She was finally free. Free to be exactly who she was created to be. Free to be loved and cared for like every child in this world deserves. Free to come home to a family who is crazy about her, grandparents who dote on her and friends who are inspired by her story and her smile. I cannot imagine our lives without her. I shudder at the thought that we could have missed out on Hope had we not ever considered special needs. She is truly and completely the only Hope for us.

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Readers Comments (22 Comments) View All Comments

Touchdown! That's a really cool way of putting it!- Jetson

I'm out of league here. Too much brain power on display!- Raynoch

You story sounds so similar to mine! I adopted a beautiful 2 year old girl with repaired VSD, named Gracie Yuanli, who could not be more perfect for us! I switched to SN program as a single mom who met her finance during the adoption process and could not get married until my adoption was complete! We were all married 4 months after I adopted Gracie. I am a strong advocate of the SN program in China.- Judy

Your story means so much to me. I am a 55 year old single mother. I have adopted 3 children from China. Two of my children have deformed hands and fingers. The Shriners Hospital has been wonderful to us. Now that China has opened the door for singles I am praying about adopting through the special focus program.- Anonymous

Terre, I would look into adoption agencies that focus on only a small number of countries (such as China plus Haiti only) or domestic adoption. Their overhead is a little lower. Also, fees are broken into agency fees, country fees and other, and country fees vary greatly, with China asking for less than Russia, for instance. There's also a tax credit for adoption which ultimately puts a portion of your adoption expenses (in my case two-thirds) back into your pocket.- Barbara

I too started out seeking a "healthy" child (at a time when the wait was not as long as now) and was later asked if I would consider special needs. Talking to other families with SN children beforehand helped a lot. The child I was offered and accepted seven years ago also came with a repaired VSD. The more time-consuming "special need" ahead will be the need for orthodontia. Really. And who in the US considers that a special need?- Barbara

I really enjoyed your article :) Both our kids are from S. Korea, and our youngest was from the SN program, too :)- Gina

A true reflection of God! God bless your family abundantly!!- ashley

This is a wonderful story. It has been a dream of mine to adopt, however, unfortunately we are not in a position to afford costly adoption fees. It breaks my heart that orphanages are full of children needing a loving home. Your story warms my heart. Enjoy your wonderful daughter.- Terre

It is not our place to judge whether another family has gone "far enough" with their adoption of a special needs child...especially when this family was open to a child needing heart surgery! Encouraging families to broaden the scope of special needs they might consider when adopting doesn't need to come at the price of denigrating the level of openness another adoptive family has demonstrated.- Maire Marran

In response to Anonymous, ANY family who opens their hearts and homes to adopt a child is TRULY AMAZING whether the child is special needs or not. God bless all of you and Elaine M., so happy to hear you are beginning this journey. May God bring you the perfect child for you.- Blessed

What a fabulous family. All adoptions are a leap of faith for the family and the adoptee. When you add a special need, it's an even greater leap. You did not know if Hope was going to need more specialized care or not, but you adopted her anyway, knowing that you would deal with whatever came up, just as you would for your bio children. We did the same and ended up with more "issues" than we anticipated, but everything is going to be just fine, I pray. God bless you!- Anonymous

Beautifully said Amy. We too started in the non-special needs program back in 2006. In 2008 We felt lead to explore special needs and discovered many in our circle of friends and family would be considered special needs had they been born in China. Within a week we received the call for our son. Before we even returned home we knew that we would go back for another special child. In January we came home with our daughter. Neither child could have been a better fit, they are perfect for us.- Gretchen

Your story is very similar to ours. We waited 4 years on the healthy child list. We really did not want to do SN until we got frustrated waiting with it seemed no end in sight. We had friends that adopted two special needs kids that had minor issues and are fine. We just put our names on the SN list two months ago and just got a referral last week for a beautiful baby boy with a ventricular septal defect that was repaired in China. We plan to go to China in June to bring him home. So happy!- Anonymous

What a beautiful family. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful story too. I am constantly wondering what if we could manage a child with special needs? You are helping give us the courage to find the baby who's perfect for our family.- atrowbridge

Amy, awesome testimony! Thanks for sharing. It gives Rick and me hope in the adoption process to consider and option we might not have considered. May God continue to enlarge your sphere of influence! Hope is truly one blessed daughter to have you as parents!- LeAnn Weiss-Rupard

Your family is lovely. You are all gloriously blessed.- Paula

Beautiful, inspiring, wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing this. My husband and I both read it. We finally made the decision to switch to the special needs program! THANK YOU!- Elaine M.

In response to the previous post about not going "far enough". We adopted a 12 yo girl with special needs. Although many people may consider them minor, the age and issues were as much as our family could consider and handle. Every family who steps out of their comfort zone to adopt is amazing. My standard response to the numerous people who ask me "why not this or why not that" is "how many special needs children have you adopted?"- Anonymous

Regardless of Mr. or Mrs. "Anonymous'" comments below, ANY family that answers the call of our God to adopt one of His precious children, is TRULY AMAZING! Thank you for sharing and encouraging others. Thank You Father for Hope!!- Bridgette Mack

So much of your writing rings true to me - We adopted 3 special needs kids at ages 4, 41/2, and 12 1/2. They were the right age for us - we just didn't know it before hand.Special Needs means they are very special to us. Their need is just a small part of who they were and who they have become. Great article and your family shines joy and hope.- Barbara Kerr

While I admire your willingness to look beyond a healthy child, I wonder if you did not go far enough? Especially if you were praying that she was healthy mentally. I think we need to rally more families to commit to those who have potential longer-term needs that a surgery or two can't just miraculously fix. Those families who make a conscious commitment to years of therapies or more are the ones who are truly amazing!- Anonymous