Choosing the Gender of the Child When Adopting

Choosing the Gender of the Child When Adopting

Adopting a child is a rewarding experience that can change a life forever. It can be a tough decision to make, and it should be given careful consideration. For those who are interested in adopting a child, but unsure of what gender they would like to adopt, there are a few things to keep in mind. 

Choosing A Boy or A Girl During Adoption is a Controversial Issue In Adoption

There is often a preference for one gender over another. This is because of the belief that there are more boys than girls in need of adoption. However, this preference is not without controversy. Many people believe that choosing a specific gender during adoption can limit and discourage other potential parents from adopting. There are a few things to keep in mind when making this decision.

  • First, it is important to remember that every child needs a home, regardless if it's a boy or a girl.

  • Second, it is important to remember that no matter what gender you choose, your child will be loved and cherished. No matter what your child's gender identity is, they are still your child and you will always love them.

  • Lastly, regardless of gender, it is important to remember that every child has different needs. This should also be a priority. Some children need a home with a lot of attention (i.e., children with special needs), while others may need a home where they can be alone from time to time.
  • girl sillhouette on a pink background and boy sillhoutte on a blue background for gender preference during adoption. Photo Source: Pexel

Gender-specific adoption

Some adoptive parents include specific gender preferences in their adoption plan, including race, medical history, age, etc. For you to have a successful gender-specific adoption, you must plan things out thoroughly.

There are many ways to adopt a child, and private adoption is one option. You can work with an agency or attorney who will help you find a birth mother and plan for the adoption. Some birth mothers decide to put their child after placement after birth.

Expectant mothers who have already given their child up for adoption as early as the pregnancy period may also be considered. An ultrasound or prenatal test may help confirm gender.

If you already have a keen interest in a specific expectant mother who is yet to undergo needed tests, you must tell them about your gender-specific adoption plan and offer to subsidize all the prenatal screenings. As much as possible, have an adoption professional or a lawyer specializing in adoption assist you with this.

Foster care adoption is your best bet if you want to have a successful gender-specific adoption. Foster agencies can grant your request. Sometimes, however, you may only choose a gender if you're to adopt a child with special needs, an older child, or a child with siblings.

In international adoption, some adoption agencies cater to this certain request. Do your research and talk to them directly about your adoption plan.

Waiting Time in Gender-Specific Adoptions Could Take Longer

Gender-specific adoptions usually take longer than other adoptions because not every agency allows such. Adoption agencies prioritize the child's needs and would therefore put you at the bottom of the adoption waiting list if the gender aspect doesn't match.

In addition, once you've turned down a match, there could be more paperwork involved. Always know that there is a higher demand for any type of adoption.

Adoption Budget Could Blow Up If You Still Want To Choose a Specific Gender

The adoption budget could easily blow up if you want to choose a specific gender. Since your wait time is longer, you should be prepared to pay additional fees—especially for your adoption professional, adoption lawyer, or social worker.

If suggested matches don't work for you, then you'd need to produce documents and do the process all over again, which would require you to spend on traveling and other more. Agencies will still require documentation, such as letters of recommendation and criminal records checks, on your next attempt. In addition, this would vary in whatever adoption case you're in. Gender-specific adoption could be more expensive, but at least you'll be able to tick everything from your checklist and have what your heart desires.

a boy and a girl wearing face mask peeking from a window glass waiting for adoption amid the pandemic. Photo Source: Pexel

Why Girls are, More Preferred Than Boys

Did you know adoptive parents prefer adopting girls to boys? There are a few reasons girls are more often preferred than boys in adoption:

Many people believe girls are more likely to develop into healthy adults than boys are. This is because girls are often socialized to be nurturing and caring. Boys are typically socialized to be more independent and aggressive.

There is a lot of research that suggests that girls are more family-oriented than boys. This may be because girls are socialized to be more supportive and caring towards others. This may lead them to take on more roles within the family unit, such as being caregivers or providing support. Girls may be more likely to ask for help when they need it, which can make them more dependable and valued members of the family.

Most individuals who want to adopt are women. Some parents may worry that they cannot relate to a son as well as they could to a daughter, while others may be concerned about the potential for behavioral issues or delinquency. Some parents may simply prefer to adopt a girl instead of a boy for personal reasons.

Ironically, there are more boys in need of adoption than girls. In addition, girls require more care and attention than boys. This is because girls face unique challenges during their developmental stages. For example, girls often experience greater difficulties with emotional development than boys do.

Adoptive parents should find it in their hearts to adopt boys, or better yet, adopt with no gender preference, as boys are less likely to be adopted than girls. Boys need loving homes too!

Adoptive parents gender reveal their adopted child with a black balloon. Photo Source: Pexel

The Option To Be Not Gender-Specific Is More Fulfilling

Creating an adoption plan with a specific gender in mind can be restrictive and lead to disappointment. It is important to remember that the child is the most important factor in any adoption.

Your adoption plan should be based on the child's needs, not your personal preferences. If you would like to adopt a specific gender, do not put all of your eggs in one basket and expect that he/she will be perfect for you. Be open to the idea that he/she may have some challenges that you will need to work through together.

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