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When my husband and I decided to add to our family again through adoption
When my husband and I decided to
add to our family again through adoption, we knew it would be a child with
special needs. Having
parented children with special needs, we knew, or at least thought we knew, what
type of child would be perfect for our family. How foolish we were! We had
decided that, for our particular family, it would be difficult to parent a child
with
Cerebral Palsy (CP) and we did not want to adopt a child who was
blind. There were a few other things on our list but those two stood out to
us as what we did not think we could handle and so were on the top of our "No
Way" list. Our logic was that there were several members of our household who
have
Osteogenesis Imperfecta, or Brittle Bones, and that a child with CP
would be wobbly, while a blind child might run into people or things; someone
might get hurt.

Well, obviously, there was a
bigger picture, because along came our amazing son: Austin. Austin had had a
couple of strokes before he was born. These strokes had left him missing his
left temporal and occipital lobes. We were told he probably wouldn't walk
without a walker or crutches and he probably would never talk. How could we say
no? How could we let this baby boy down? He needed a family. Of course we said
YES. We figured that because our house was ramped, he would probably manage okay
and what better family to be in than one composed of others with challenges. He
would never feel different in our home. So, cross CP off the No
Way list.
What we weren't told by the doctors was that Austin was also legally blind.
Okay, so now two of the top No Ways on our list were now a reality. And, you
know what.we wouldn't change a thing. Austin is a joy
to be around and always lights up a room with his smile.
You might ask yourself, "how do
you deal with a child with multiple disabilities?" The answer is truly simple:
You deal with a child with multiple disabilities exactly as you would any child.
Austin was born this way, so he
has learned to adapt and does an amazing job. Austin started walking
independently when he was three years old although it isn't easy for him. He has
a small wheelchair for distances. When he walks he wildly swings his arms and we
all duck. He hasn't broken anything yet! He wears braces on his lower legs. He
gets Botox injections to help him walk better. We get asked all the time if we
are sure Austin is blind. That question always amazes us because why would
anyone make that up? We usually just reply, "yes" and then they say, "But he
doesn't look blind!" So what is a person who is blind supposed to look like?
What is a person with CP supposed to look like? Act like? Be like to live with?
The truth is Austin is just like any other six year old. He is a loving, caring
child who adores animals, sports, cars, and trains. He loves Underdog and our
family beagle, Bailey. He loves to give hugs and kisses, laugh, scream, and be
ornery. Most of all, Austin is just a little boy.
Children with CP can have a
normal IQ. Never assume they don't! Austin is very smart and is at grade level
in a regular kindergarten class at a public school. He can't read well because
of his vision, but he is learning braille. He knows all his letters and numbers,
shapes, colors, and sizes of money. He can add and subtract. He can't write
well, but he is learning to use a computer. Austin always amazes us with his
intelligence, and frankly, he is smarter than most people! Sure, he has a speech
delay because he was born missing the entire speech part of the brain. He didn't
start talking at all until he was four years old. Now he talks all the time and
his speech is very clear. For example, "That is my truck, go away!" "I don't
want to go to bed." "Do I have to get a bath?" And most of all: "Mom, tell
Steven to leave me alone!" He sounds just like any six year old with an older
brother who is an expert at tormenting his younger siblings.
Of course we have our challenges,
and there are days when it isn't easy. But mostly those days are because we have
to deal with a place that isn't accessible or some person that doesn't
understand. But, when you see Austin, as a volunteer for
Cascade Beagle Rescue, working with an afraid and previously abused beagle,
teaching that dog to love and be loved, there is no doubt that despite his
challenges, Austin is wiser than us all. And he is so proud that our last foster
dog, Charlie, was able to be placed with a disabled man as a service dog. He
took a small frightened little dog, and helped to teach him patience and
confidence. At the same time, Austin teaches us all to open our hearts and homes
to children who you may never have thought would be your "idea"child.
What did we really know
when we first decided to add to our family again through adoption?
Not as much as Austin !
Sandy Roberts is the mother
of four, who encourages others to adopt special needs children. To learn more
about Special Needs Adoption, please visit: Kids To Adopt, a licensed child
placement agency that specializes in finding families for children just like
Austin!
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