During our first adoption process, there were times I didn't want to leave the house. I didn't want to hear people's comments or questions on our decision to adopt, I didn't want to be asked if I were shopping from a registry every single time I set foot in Babies R Us, and I didn't want to be around people with biological children and feel like I was on the outside of parenthood. As a result, my husband and I spent a lot of time at home, reading, watching movies, eating take-out and keeping to ourselves while we waited, often feeling alone or misunderstood around others.

We're far from that state now, being in process with our third adoption and having made a great and varied support system for ourselves over the last two years, but I was been reminded of this emotional state by two things recently. The first was making a new friend starting out the process who reminded me very much of myself. The second was the arrival of adoption expert Laura Christianson's The Adoption Network (WinePress Publishing) , a new book which sets out to combat the loneliness and lack of perceived support commonly felt in the adoption community .

Inspired by her family's experience, Laura Christianson's The Adoption Network takes a look at the benefits of a support system in the adoption community and at the various aspects of filling the need for it. She speaks for those who are silently waiting for someone to reach out to them, as well as for those who want to reach out, but don't know how. Then, Christianson leads her readers through identifying a focus for their group, developing a mission statement, planning and budgeting, finding leadership, and fostering friendship, support and growth. Here, Christianson provides the how-tos for opening your heart as well as for letting in others.

Though the expected targets of these services are prospective and practicing adoptive parents, I appreciate that Christianson also writes meaningfully about how to set up groups for other members of the adoption community in need: first parents, the extended families of both first and adoptive parents, foster parents, parents in disrupted adoptions, parents of special needs adopted children, emancipated foster children, and adopted adults.

It's a fast read, full of useful bullet points and worksheets, but an important one. Christianson's lists lead in the right direction. If it takes a village to raise a child, Laura Christianson's The Adoption Network makes sure that people touched by adoption can make or find a village to see them and their family through the wanting, the waiting, and the work of life.

Though I found Christianson's book to be particularly useful for anyone starting an adoption-related support group in their church or community, it might also be a great resource for first time adoptive parents interested in showing others how to reach out to them. Whether you're feeling inspired or isolated, The Adoption Network will be an invaluable help.

Violeta Garcia-Mendoza is a Spanish-American poet and writer living in Pennsylvania . Violeta is also a member of Voices of Adoption , an Adoption Community. She and her husband have completed the Guatemalan adoptions of their toddlers, Maya and Joaquin, and are awaiting the completion of their third child's adoption.

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